Nadia & Charanjit (India)

18.11.2007

17

Almost a year has passed since our wedding and I just write a review to Vera

From one side because it still feels like if it was yesterday

From other side I just still do not have right and appropriate words!

I put aside writing a review until now as I thought that words are about come …

How many couples have written to Vera hat she created a fairy tale or that is was magical. Yeah, corny but it is also about our wedding with Charanjit.

Vera has saved our wedding and created a fairy tale – Indian tale shining with gold and Bollywood colours in each photo. Why saved? Because I would not be able to get a good photographer on our wedding as India usually they take standard pictures since an invention of photography: flash in the forehead, all fall in along the wall with whole family together … Well I’ve started to panic 2 weeks before the wedding when I realized that our wedding would be photographed by “a good photographer, as requested” an acquaintance of my father in law. Vera for my panicky post in Live Journal proposed to take pictures by herself!

My happiness knew no bounds when we have agreed on all the details!

Vera arrived in India on Saturday night the day when bride preparation for wedding starts. That evening my parent-in-law house was already full of people – relatives, neighbours, friends. In one room were spread out mattresses and they were four masters in painting with henna, one for the bride, one for all the women wishing to paint henna hands as well. Next room my husband’s younger brother turned on passionate dance Punjabi music and everyone danced with claps and taps. So Vera who that night flew by some crazy Turkmenistan Airlines with transfers was humbly met by my husband’s his younger brother at the airport and accompanied to my parents-in-law house. And once she stepped inside she stared to take the pictures and so seamlessly blended in an environment that she straight away got an offer for her hands henna painting as wel.

The next day, the Wedding day, Vera was with us already at 5 am, shot haldi ceremony – a ceremony at which female relatives, woman of the family sort of coating bride and groom with a mixture of wheat flour and turmeric, then rubbed into the newly-weds skin yogurt and then “pave” hair with an oil, singing folk songs all the time with jokes and fun despite the drowse of present people and early hour of the day. Over the bride and groom respectively relatives keep brightly embroidered veil, which after the ceremony is being rolled down and placed on bride’s or groom’s mother head respectively. Mother collects scattered during the ceremony flour turmeric crumbs and claps them with her hands to the walls of house where the ceremony took place ( in our case it was the patio). Over flour peels off, turmeric fades, but for the first few days after the wedding such mark is a sign to everybody that there was a wedding in the house.

Such kind of Indian SPA =) Usually this ceremony takes place separately in bride’s house and separately in groom’s house respectively. But since we live in the same house my husband’s family had a wonderful opportunity to “prepare” not only the groom but the bride as well. In the hot season newly-wed are being slosh by the water from a bucket, but it was + 17 at that moment, not the season for water treatment in the open air. By the way, only with Vera’s photos I was able to see the ceremony which I could not see as after this SPA took a “civilized” shower.

For example, one moment when the groom just stepped out the shower and wrapped in a colourful blanket had to jump on a pile of clay bowls and break them into largest possible number of fragment, more pieces – more happiness will be in the family.

Or ceremony when my husband‘s relatives tied the red woolen strings on his and mine wrists, braiding ends of the thread in a lot of knots and laughing predicting us an interesting completion in unbinding these small knots after the wedding, usually about a week after the wedding, the quickest to untie knots his arm would wear the pants in the family.

Then they put bride’s bracelets on my arms: red and white, once such traditional bangles were made of mahogany and ivory now wedding bracelets are just made of plastic with rhinestones. Brother of the bride’s mother (in this case it was my brother-in-law) has an important role in Indian wedding – before the bride “goes under the patronage of the Father” he guides a bride around the house. And as for wearing bracelets on your arms everybody wants and would like to do it that is why first all mother cousins fasten one bracelet, then all women in the family … This was the moment when in more or less the home atmosphere relatives could present their gifts, in this case the money for the young couple. Money is usually given into bride’s hands and is accepted with slight bow.

Once the bracelets were on my arms everybody ran away on business and I started preparing myself and putting make-up. I should explain why I was doing it by myself; as a matter of fact most Indian “Beauty Shop” had a very specific idea about Bridal make-up, Indian bride’s make-up strikes with saturation and vigour! And colours of make-up sets are very rich accordingly. Knowing this I in advance in Cyprus went to a beauty salon and asked to put to put a wedding make-up and explain to me how to do it myself as this was the circumstances of my wedding. And I brought this make-up with me to India for the wedding. By the way the bag with wedding shoes and this particular make up set got very lost on the way to India and was delivered a week later. Can you imagine how worried was I that they will not find it?

After make-up I my mom and Vera went to the local hairdresser’s, hair style we also discussed with the hairdresser before, I just needed them to draw up my hair and put a “veil” on. And here again we could not avoid funny moments. Hairdresser first, moaning, persuaded me to change my makeup, as it was not the way the Indian brides do it, and more she wanted to show me a picture of proper make-up (and did and it was just a horror). Then we long decide how to clip the “veil”, as a matter of fact in the Indian wedding fashion magazines I saw some interesting options how to do it and insisted on what suits me, to my mind. But according to local unwritten rules, brides face and shoulders should not be widely uncovered. We agreed on a compromise – in the church I covered my shoulders by “veil” and during not too formal moments – left it behind my back. By the way, taking this into account I’ve chosen this fabric for my veil, which would have less of embroidery in order not to pull the hair so it that I was easier to wear.

On return from the hairdresser turned out we are short of time already and groom should leave the house already. And since we have agreed that we should not meet with groom until I would walk into the temple that will host the wedding ceremony, everybody was waiting for me and didn’t start the ceremony of groom’s leaving house. This ceremony I saw on video only and still peeped through a gap in the curtains on the second floor of the house, where stayed only me and my friend all the other people spilled into the street to accompany the groom..

The groom sat on a beautiful white horse and went to the Sikh temple. This is in general terms. And in fact there was a whole series of photography with all the relatives, dances, congratulations. On groom’s neck there is garland made of small Indian banknotes. The fact is that before when there was no paper money guests arriving at the wedding could give something to the groom strengthening it against his chest. Since then tradition of hanging “valuables” has remained at least in such form. The groom before the ceremony at the Sikh temple begins shall not open his face. Usually in this way groom goes for the bride to her house and given the fact that bride’s face is usually also closed, up to certain point they can not each other. In our case since we have to leave from single point, we first to the temple would go fiance and then in 40 minutes, by the time when bride would need to enter the temple, they would bring me.

I have an indistinct memory of everything that happened later. Groom’s younger brother with cousins arrived for me and my friend, who brightened my minutes of waiting. Traditionally brides female friends (in Indian version is more relatives and friends and not a “nominated bridesmaids” like in the western weddings) should lead the bride to the temple and sit behind her. I then looked at the photos and realised that I was so serious and they were sitting there having fun!

The process how the ceremony should go on we have “rehearsed” at home in advance: at what time we should get up and bow when and where to go. That moment was emotional but in my mind there was a clear scenario.

At some point in the ceremony my father came up and together with mother-in-law’s brother put a scarf into my hands which groom was wearing in this way joining us. I must say I have strong suspicions that Sikhs “boosted” this ritual from Hinduism where the bride and groom get literally connected by means of a special cord with particular node.

After this our task with groom was to gradually, beautifully, graceful and simultaneously walk 4 rounds in circuit by prayer around the main Sikh book Adi Granth . 4 is a sacred number in Sikhism that is why we had to make 4 rounds . He in front – me behind. On one of Vera’s pictures this “sequence” is capured from above when I look at this photo I have a lump in my throat and lots of emotions, as if my and bride’s souls soared up at the wedding and looked at everybody from there, somewhere above …

At the exit from the temple we run into another couple going to their ceremony in the same temple. Ritually brides exchange small banknotes between each and same is done by grooms.

Almost a year has passed from our wedding day and I only now am writing a review to Vera

From one side because it still feels as if it was yesterday

From other side because I just still do not have right and appropriate words!

I’ve been putting aside writing a review until now as I thought that words were about come …

How many couples have written to Vera that she created a fairy tale or that is was magical. Yeah, corny but it is also about our wedding with Charanjit.

Vera has saved our wedding and created a fairy tale – Indian tale shining with gold and Bollywood colours in each photo. Why saved? Because I would not be able to get a good photographer on our wedding as in India they usually take standard pictures since an invention of photography: flash in the forehead, everybody lined along the wall with whole family together … Well I’ve started to panic 2 weeks before the wedding when realized that our wedding would be photographed by “a good photographer, as requested” an acquaintance of my father in law. Vera for my panicky post in Live Journal proposed to take pictures by herself!

My happiness knew no bounds when we have agreed on all the details!

Vera arrived in India on Saturday night the day when bride preparation for wedding started. That evening my parents-in-law house was already full of people – relatives, neighbours, friends. In one room were spread out mattresses and they were four masters in painting with henna, one for the bride, one for all the women wishing to paint henna hands as well. Next room my husband’s younger brother turned on passionate dance Punjabi music and everyone danced with claps and taps.
So Vera who that night flew by some crazy Turkmenistan Airlines with transfers was humbly met by my husband’s younger brother at the airport and accompanied to my parents-in-law house. And once she stepped inside she stared to take pictures and so seamlessly blended in an environment that she straight away got an offer for her hands to be henna painted as well.

On the next day, the Wedding day, Vera was with us already at 5 am, shooting haldi ceremony – a ceremony at which female relatives, women of the family, singing folk songs all the time with jokes and fun despite the drowse of present people and early hour of the day, were sort of coating bride and groom with a mixture of wheat flour and turmeric, then rubbing yogurt into newly-weds skin and then “pave” hair with an oil. Over the bride and groom respectively relatives keep brightly embroidered veil, which after the ceremony is being rolled down and placed on bride’s or groom’s mother head respectively. Mother collects scattered during the ceremony flour turmeric crumbs and claps them with her hands to the walls of house where the ceremony took place ( in our case it was the patio). With time flour peels off, turmeric fades but for the first few days after the wedding such mark is a sign to everybody that there was wedding in the house.

Such kind of Indian SPA =) Usually this ceremony takes place separately in bride’s house and separately in groom’s house respectively. But since we shared the same house my husband’s family had great chance to “prepare” not only the groom but the bride as well. In the hot season newly-weds are being sloshed by the water from a bucket, but it was + 17 at that moment, not the season for water treatment in the open air. By the way, only on Vera’s photos I was able to see the ceremony which I could not see as after this SPA left to take a “civilized” shower.

For example, one moment when the groom just stepped out the shower and wrapped in a colourful blanket had to jump on a pile of clay bowls and break them into largest possible number of fragment, more pieces – more happiness will be in the family.

Or ceremony when my husband‘s relatives tied the red woolen strings on his and mine wrists, braiding ends of the thread in a lot of knots and laughed predicting us an interesting competition in unbinding these small knots after the wedding, usually about in a week after the wedding. The quickest to untie knots in his spouse arm would wear the pants in the family.

Then they put bride’s bracelets on my arms: red and white, once such traditional bangles were made of mahogany and ivory now wedding bracelets are just made of plastic with rhinestones. Brother of the bride’s mother (in our case it was my mother’s-in-law brother) plays an important role in Indian wedding – before the bride “goes under the patronage of her father” he guides the bride around the house.
And as for wearing bracelets on your arms everybody wants and would like to do it that is why first all mother cousins fasten one bracelet, then all women in the family … This was the moment when in more or less heart and home atmosphere relatives could present their gifts, in this case money for the young couple. Money is usually given into bride’s hands and is accepted with slight bow.

Once the bracelets were on my arms everybody ran away on business and I started preparing myself and putting a make-up. I should explain why I was doing it by myself; as a matter of fact most Indian “Beauty Shops” have a very specific idea about Bridal make-up, Indian Bridal make-up strikes with saturation and vigour! And colours of make-up sets are very rich accordingly. Knowing this I in advance in Cyprus went to a beauty salon and asked to put a wedding make-up and explain to me how to do it myself as such were the circumstances of my wedding. And I brought this make-up set with me to India for the wedding. By the way the bag with wedding shoes and this particular make up set got lost on the way to India and was delivered a week later. Can you imagine how worried I was that they would not find it?

After make-up my Mom, Vera and I went to the local hairdresser’s, hair style we also discussed with the hairdresser before, I just needed them to draw up my hair and put a “veil” on. And here again we could not avoid funny moments. Hairdresser, first, moaning tried to persuade me to change my makeup, as it was not the way the Indian brides wore it, and in addition wanted to show me a picture of the proper make-up (what she finally did…and it was just a horror). Then we for a long time tried to decide how to clip the “veil”, as a matter of fact in the Indian wedding fashion magazines I saw some interesting options how to do it and insisted on what suits me, to my mind. But according to local unwritten rules, bride’s face and shoulders should not be widely uncovered. We agreed on a compromise – in the church I covered my shoulders by “veil” and during not too formal moments – left it behind my back. By the way, taking this into account I’ve chosen particular fabric for my veil, which would have less of embroidery in order not to pull the hair so that it was easier to wear.

On return from the hairdresser it turned out that we were short of time already and groom should be leaving the house already. And since we had agreed not to meet each other until I would walk into the temple that hosted the wedding ceremony, everybody was waiting for me and didn’t start the ceremony when groom leaves the house. This ceremony I saw on video only but still peeped through a gap in the curtains on the second floor of the house, where I stayed with a company of my only friend while all the other people spilled into the street to accompany the groom.

The groom sat on a beautiful white horse and went to the Sikh temple. This is in general terms. And in fact there were series of photography with all the relatives, dances, congratulations. On groom’s neck there is garland made of small Indian banknotes. The fact is that before when there was no paper money guests arriving at the wedding could present something to the groom strengthening it against his chest. Since then tradition of hanging “valuables” has remained at least in such form. The groom before the ceremony at the Sikh temple begins shall not open his face. Usually in this way groom goes for the bride to her house and given the fact that bride’s face is usually also closed, up to certain moment they do not see each other. In our case since we had to leave from single point, we decided that fiance first would go to the temple and then in 40 minutes, by the time when bride would need to enter the temple, they would bring me.

I have an indistinct memory of everything that happened later. Groom’s younger brother with cousins arrived for me and my friend, who brightened my minutes of waiting. Traditionally brides female friends (in Indian version is more relatives and friends and not a “nominated bridesmaids” like in the western weddings) should lead the bride to the temple and sit behind her. I then looked at the photos and realised that I was so serious and they were sitting there having fun!

We have “rehearsed” at home in advance the process of the ceremony: at what time we should get up and bow when and where to go. That moment was emotional but in my mind there was a clear scenario.

At some point in the ceremony my father came up and together with my mother-in-law’s brother put a scarf which groom was wearing into my hands in this way joining us. I must say I have strong suspicions that Sikhs “boosted” this ritual from Hinduism where the bride and groom get literally connected by means of a special cord with particular node.

After this our task with groom was to gradually, beautifully, graceful and simultaneously walk 4 rounds in circuit by prayer around the main Sikh book Adi Granth . 4 is a sacred number in Sikhism that is why we had to make 4 rounds . He – in front, me – behind. On one of Vera’s pictures this “sequence” is captured from above when I look at this photo I have a lump in my throat and lots of emotions, as if my and bride’s souls soared up at the wedding and looked at everybody from there, somewhere above …

At the exit from the temple we run into another couple going to their ceremony in the same temple. Ritually brides exchange small banknotes between each other and same is done by grooms.

After this there was not a single moment when we’ve been left alone, we’ve got in the car which slowly moved towards the house. People were dancing in front of the car, father in law specifically for this case exchanged money in the bank for throw-money for poor people. Then we went out and dance a bit in front of the house inspiring the audience (time spent for Indian dance lessons was not spent for nothing and even before I knew how traditional Indian folk dances shall be danced).

This followed by formal welcome ceremony in groom’s house. Mother-in-law was holding a beautiful jug with milk and turned it around above us for seven times each time trying to take drink of it, six times just married groom did not let her to drink ceremonially stopping her. And on the 7th time he did not stop her and mother – in-law took a sip of milk thus announcing to all that she took all the troubles of young family away from them for herself. Then the same thing is being done with sugar and thus the young man “sweetens” those troubles promising to share the joy of a new life with his parents. After this there was not a single moment when we’ve been left alone, we’ve got in the car which slowly moved towards the house. People were dancing in front of the car, father in law specifically for this case exchanged money in the bank for throw-money for poor people. Then we went out and dance a bit in front of the house inspiring the audience (time spent for Indian dance lessons was not spent for nothing and before I knew how traditional Indian folk dances shall be danced).

This followed by formal welcome ceremony in groom’s house. Mother-in-law was holding a beautiful jug with milk and turned around above us for seven times each time trying to take a drink of it, six times just married groom gave a drink ceremonially stopping her. And on the 7th time he does not stop her and mother – in-law takes a sip of milk thus announcing to all that she takes all the troubles of young family away from them for herself. Then the same thing is going on with sugar and thus the young man “sweetens” those troubles promising to share the joy of a new life with his parents.

After all these ceremonies we just entered the house where we were immediately asked by photographers to seclude with them for 5 minutes in the hall, there we’ve been photographed “by the wall”: these photos then get cut by local craftsmen per the contour of the young couple and appear on the cover pages of ordered by newly-weds wedding albums and in albums themselves. All the other people began to disperse around the house, change clothes, somebody had something to eat, but we already had “A” plan: there was not much time for a walk so we had to breathe out and enjoy the moment while taking pictures. That evening Vera had to fly back and we needed to get changed for overnight wedding party. Therefore, from the two selected for the “casual photo shoot” places – the only one well maintained park in the town next to a Maharaja ancient mausoleum and a territory around Christian school, converted to the Catholic Church from the palace of almost the same Maharaja, we managed to take a walk only in one place, but how beautiful it was!

They still remember us, the “whole village” does. Our appearance for the locals was as sensational as would be appearance of Bollywood starts. Behind us, photographed by Vera, followed a small crowd of observers. Moreover as parents explained us afterwards we reminded people of Indian folk legend about love …

Vera seated us under local banyan revived in people’s eyes the legend of Sony & Mahivale: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sohni_Mahiwal. On Chennab Riverside in state of Gudzhrat lived potter’s daughter Sony who painted the simple village pots in such a way that they become works of art. Once a wealthy merchant from Uzbekistan arrived to the city and after meeting Sonia, decided to stay in the city, gave up his trading business and hired out for work with her father. He was ready to do any kind of work, even shepherded buffalo for him, for this people started to call him Mahival – shepherd. Sonia fall in love with Mahival as well but people began to gossip and Sonia got bestowed in marriage by parents arrangement for one potter. Mahival’s heart was broken, land on which Sonia stepped was the sacred altar for him which he did not dare to walk on so he moved to the other side of the river Chennab and lived there as a hermit. At night Sonja swam over the river using clay pot as a float … Let us dwell on this part of the legend. As a matter of fact folk art usually features Sony and Mahivala as a gently hugging couple sitting together under the tree. Vera from her side perfectly clear evoked images of that folk legend ….

Since then relatives tease me and Charanjit as: “Oh, here have our Sony-and-Mahival arrived.”

And after the walk we had very little time before Vera’s departure for pictures in the house at the sunset of that wonderful day. I changed into a dress that I’ve chosen for the wedding party (style dress called kagra or gharar – Punjabi folk outfit that differs by a style and a cut from all-Indian wedding Leungs) and has asked Charanjit to take pictures together in the traditional outfit before he changed in official European suit. We had tea on the roof and just enjoyed some rest: there was still a long evening ahead with numerous relatives and dancing till midnight =)